There is a lot of advice out there on
how to be a success. ”Think big,” “Give
first,” “Create goals,” “Be vulnerable,”
“Create relationships.” The list goes
on. It’s all good advice. But I don’t see many people talking about one
of the core character traits that define successful people – self-discipline.
Let’s first clarify what we are
talking about: Self-discipline
is the ability to control one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions to achieve
a long-term goal, even when faced with temptations or low motivation. It
involves consciously choosing to pursue what you believe is right and
beneficial for you, rather than succumbing to instant gratification or external
pressures.
Here’s an example from my life. I
have been swimming laps in the morning a couple of times a week for decades,
because I know that it keeps my back from hurting. If II miss a couple of
weeks, my back begins to ache. .
Image you are in Michigan, in
February, and it is 6:30 AM. It is dark and cold outside, the wind is nasty,
and six inches of snow covers the ground. Now, drive through the Icey and dark
streets to the swimming pool. As you exit
the car, you slip on the ice and the cold snow slides down your shoe. Once inside, you change clothes and then jump
into a cold pool of water and swim back and forth for 30 minutes in the most
boring exercise known to mankind.
That was me. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to do it. Every day I had to
fight with myself to do it. And yet I
did. Why? Because it was a
discipline. I knew that if I didn’t, I
was going to hurt, and I’d rather endure the cold pool water than the back
pain.
While that example spoke to physical
health, the idea that “you do it whether you like it or not” is a core building
block for success in every endeavor.
Can you imagine an NFL player who
hadn’t exercised or practiced when he didn’t want to? Can you imagine a musician who refused to
practice because it was boring? Can you imagine a master chef who enjoyed
peeling onions? Can you imagine a salesperson who refused to make a call before
9:30 AM because he’d rather sleep in?
Each of these – as well as countless
others—requires self-discipline. If you
are going to be successful in anything, you must pay the price. And that price is inevitably defined by the
discipline to do the things that you know are good for you in order to achieve
a higher goal. Build the skills, acquire the knowledge, practice the behavior.
Self-discipline is not an either/or
character trait. You can have it in
degrees. The greater your mastery of it,
the greater is the likelihood of your success. And you can build it forever,
developing greater self-control over time.
Here are three tips to
help you increase your self-discipline.
1. Clarify and articulate
the ‘long-term goal.’
Why are you doing this? Discipline involves paying a short-term price
in return for the likelihood of attaining a long-term goal. So, what’s the
goal?
You’ll find the exercise of writing
it out to help clarify it and make it more tangible. And that makes it easier to do the discipline
necessary to attain it.
2. Clearly identify the ‘discipline” behavior.
I could have said, for example, that
I was going to ‘exercise a few times a week.’ Instead, I decided to ‘swim laps for 30
minutes three times a week.’ ‘Swim laps’ is more specific, and therefore more
easily attained, than the vaguer “exercise.”
The more clearly you define the
behavior that you are going to discipline yourself to stick to, the easier it
is to actually complete it.
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3. Document and celebrate
your successes.
Keep a journal. When you complete the first week, note it,
and reward yourself in a small way. Repeat
until the disciplined behavior becomes a mindless habit that requires little
thinking.
Self-discipline is a muscle, and the
more you work on it the stronger it becomes. The stronger your self-discipline
the more in charge you are of your life and your success.
In an age when too many ‘snowflakes’ think that success should come without any real effort, those who develop self-discipline will become the leaders and masters of the generation.
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