Recently, one of my clients recommended that I compile a
series of posts on the most important lessons I’ve learned over my 30-year
career as a consultant, working with over 500 different organizations. This is one of those lessons: For the
overwhelming majority of people, the biggest obstacle to their success resides
inside them.
While I
have seen this lesson in operation in scores of the companies and sales forces
that’ve worked with, I first stumbled across it as a young man. Here’s the story.
I had been
the number one salesperson for the company I was with, but didn’t see any
long-term opportunities, and decided to look for another position. I found a new job, selling surgical staplers
to surgeons in the operating room. IN
many ways, the job was the opposite of the one I had. It paid a draw for six months against a 100%
commission plan, and you had to buy your demonstration material and literature
from the company. I looked at the amount
of existing business in the territory I was to get, and decided that if I doubled
the business, I would be back to where I had been, financially, and then could
improve my standard of living from there.
So, I opted
to take the risk and headed out to New York city for six weeks of sales
training. While I was gone, the manager
who had hired me left for a promotion, and I had a new manager. When I returned from sales training, he had
urgent news for me. He had rearranged
the sales territories, and the one I was now to be assigned had only 1/3 of the
existing business in it as the territory for which I had been hired.
I got angry
and upset. How could they do this to me?
It didn’t look like I could make a living. So, I began to look for
another job immediately. I discovered that everyone with whom I interviewed thought
it a negative that I was looking for another job so soon after having accepted
that one. I couldn’t find another
job.
I found
myself between the proverbial rock and hard place. I couldn’t make a living with the revised
territory, and I couldn’t get another job. I was angry and bitter.
Then, one
day, out of the blue, I had a realization.
It wasn’t them; it was me! Yes, the company had treated me badly. Yet, the product was still incredible, and
the opportunity was still huge. The
problem wasn’t them; it was my bitterness and anger that was holding me
back. The problem with my performance
wasn’t them, it was me.
When I
realized that the issues holding me back were within me, I then had the power
to do something about it. That realization was like a huge weight off my
shoulders. I wasn’t a victim. I could change myself.
While I initially
stumbled across this lesson – that for most people, the biggest obstacle to
their success resides inside them – I found it confirmed repeatedly in my work
as a sales consultant. Here’s how it manifests.
Focusing on circumstances
It must be
human nature to look for the causes of our problems in the external environment
instead of looking inward and searching ourselves. In my work with salespeople, I’ve often heard
that the problem was the competition, the customer’s unrealistic expectations,
the personality of the customer, their company’s inability to do something,
etc. It never occurs to most salespeople
that the problem might be them. Did they create a trusting relationship? Did they strive to know the customer’s
situation as deeply as possible? Did
they present the best solution in a persuasive and thorough way? Have they identified and addressed the
customer’s concerns?
Over 100
years ago, James Allen observed.
“Men are often interested in
improving their circumstance, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they
therefore remain bound.”
~
James Allen
The
situation is complicated by the fact that sometimes the issue is in the
circumstances you are facing. However,
as long as you believe that the problem is totally outside of yourself, you
will forever remain a victim, helpless to improve your circumstances.
The next
time you are faced with a serious problem, before you blame the circumstances,
ask yourself, “What did I do to create or encourage these circumstances?” “What
could I have done differently?” “What
should I do differently?”
Hindering internal beliefs
Years
ago, I attended a workshop presented by a group called (I think) The Institute
for Childhood Conflicts. The premise was
that we all pick up erroneous beliefs about ourselves and the world around us
during our childhood and spend the rest of our lives overcoming them.
The older I
become and the more of life I reflect upon, the more I see the truth in that
premise.
That these
beliefs are so deeply embedded into our psyche’s that we are not even aware of
them complicates things even more. They typically take the form of our
self-image. For example, I have seen
salespeople who couldn’t effectively make a cold call – not because they were
incapable, but because they saw themselves as limited.
I’ve seen
members of my extended family who were bright, attractive, educated, but who
live lives on the cusp of poverty because they see themselves as deserving of
that.
I’ve seen
CEO’s and principals who were unable to relate to their employees – not because
they were incapable, but because they saw themselves as hard-driving
task-oriented people.
If we could
somehow pry those hindering beliefs about ourselves off our subconscious, we
would uncover a world of huge potential.
Some time
ago, while I was having lunch with the CEO of a large non-profit organization,
he asked me one of the most profound questions I’ve ever been asked. “In your training, do you try to instill new
skills, or do you try to remove the obstacles people have to using the skills
they already have?” Clearly, he
understood the point.
By the way,
my answer was “To be effective as a trainer, you have to do both.”
Limited thinking – they just don’t think about
it.
In one of my books, 11 Secrets of
Time Management for Salespeople,
I articulated one of the fundamental principles of time management: Think
about it before you do it.
It seems so basic. Yet, it is
one of the biggest reasons why people don’t reach their potential – they just
don’t think about it. The noted philosopher Bertrant Russel once said,
Most people would rather die than think. In fact, they do.
I’ve always been interested in
thinking. I know that sounds a bit
weird. But early in my career as a
professional speaker, I had a consultant whom I had hired to enhance my speaking
career tell me that my core message was that I “taught people how to think.” Looking
back, I think she was right. I rarely
make that claim, as many people would be offended by the idea that they could
be taught how to think better. Yet, for over 30 years, I have made a living
doing just that.
In recent years, I’ve begun
building out the Menta-Morphosis® series of articles, podcasts and lessons
designed to meet the issue head-on.
That speaks to the need. The
unvarnished truth is that most people react emotionally — what they feel like doing;
or habitually – the way that have always acted in these kinds of circumstances;
or in keeping with cultural mores – “This is the way our family does this.”
And while those modes of
making decisions may occasionally yield positive results, the lack of thinking
most often causes more problems.
Lack of Motivation
Here’s
my final internal hindrance to success – lack of motivation. I’ve often observed that the reason most
people are not successful is that they don’t want to be.
They
understand that striving for excellence takes commitment, self-sacrifice, energy,
and investment of time, and they just don’t want to pay that price. So, they become content with moderate degrees
of success. Instead of adjusting their internal beliefs, they adjust their
expectations, and rationalize their results.
So, there you have it.
Take it
from a veteran of over 30 years, having worked with over 500 different
organizations, and thousands of salespeople, the biggest reason people don’t
realize their potential is not in the circumstances they find themselves in,
but rather obstacles that reside within themselves.
They focus
on the external circumstances instead of the internal obstacles.
They harbor
sub-conscious beliefs that hinder them.
They don’t
think about it before they do it.
They
rationalize a lack of motivation.
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