I was in the first year of my first management job and experiencing growing frustration. I was continually disappointed in what I perceived as a lack of motivation in my charges. Not only that, but they just didn’t have the same degree of professionalism that I was expecting. They were just not meeting my expectations.
I began to question the work of my predecessors. Why were these people, whom I had inherited, hired in the first place?
I began to contemplate a major turnover in staff. That seemed too daunting to attempt, especially in view of my lack of experience. I wasn’t sure what to do.
And then, in a flash of inspiration, I had a revelation: They aren’t me!
The problem wasn’t them; it was me!
I had projected the habits, attitudes, practices and disciplines that I had built into my routines onto them. Since I thought a certain way, or did specific things, I thought everyone else did too. Instead of seeing each one as a unique combination of attitudes, skills and experiences, I had seen them as projections of my personality.
The truth was that they hadn’t had my life experiences, my education, nor my attitudes and skills. They weren’t me!
What may sound so simple was really a watershed moment in my career and one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned.
Since I had that epiphany, I have since seen the same phenomenon at work in countless of the companies for whom I have consulted. Typically, I see it at the entrepreneur’s level, where a driven, highly motivated entrepreneur expects everyone else to have the same degree of drive that he/she has. Since they don’t – after all, they are not him/her – the boss lives in a constant state of frustration.
I’ve seen it as well among sales managers, where a sales manager expects all of his/her charges to work as hard, be as motivated and committed as he/she was. Sometimes the manager lives in ignorance for years. Aren’t they all planning their months the way he did? Aren’t they all investing in improving themselves the way he did? Don’t they all have the same work ethic he has? Aren’t they all thinking strategically and focusing on penetrating key accounts the way he did?
Alas, the answer is no to all of the above. Why? Because they aren’t the sales managers. Each of them is a unique human being.
When an executive or manager finally gets it – that they aren’t him – that can be a watershed moment in the growth of that person and that business, in the same way it was for me.
That change in perspective can usher in a whole new appreciation for who they are, and an entirely new way of working with them. It can be the single event that unlocks the potential in other people, as well is the business itself.
Truly, it is one of the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned.
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